Thomas* and Lorriane’s* Story
From conflict to connection: How Functional Family Therapy helped Thomas and his family repair relationships and move forward
The shift wasn’t sudden.
It showed up quietly, in calmer mornings, fewer explosive moments and one sentence twelve year-old Thomas said to his mum that stayed with her:
“We can have a helpful conversation.”
For Thomas and his mum, Lorriane, that sentence marked a turning point.
Before support
When Thomas was referred to OzChild’s Functional Family Therapy – Youth (FFT-Y) team for support, his family was living apart.
Thomas was living with his mum, grandmother, and baby sister, while his stepdad remained in the family home with Thomas’ other siblings. This arrangement was in place during ongoing family and parenting court proceedings.
Thomas was carrying intense distress. He had been separated from his home and siblings and had little say in decisions that shaped his daily life. He felt powerless, unsettled and unsure where he belonged.
That distress showed up at home as explosive behaviour. Arguments with Lorriane escalated quickly – shouting, threats and property damage were common. At times, police attended to help manage risk.
Mum was exhausted and overwhelmed. She was managing separation from her partner, caring for a baby, supporting Thomas and trying to hold her family together, all while living in ongoing uncertainty. The more she tried to set limits and restore calm, the more reactive things became between herself and Thomas.
Both Lorriane and Thomas felt stuck, frightened by how quickly emotions could boil over and unsure how to change what was happening.
Creating Understanding
When the FFT Practitioner, Matt, first met the family, Thomas did not want to engage. He was angry, resistant and mistrustful of another adult stepping in.
Instead of pushing for quick change, Matt focused on building trust, meeting Thomas where he was and helping Lorriane feel understood, with no judgement or blame.
Early conversations helped Thomas and Lorraine see that the conflict wasn’t about one person being “the problem”. It was the fear, loss and uncertainty created by rapid family change and ongoing court proceedings spilling into everyday life.
Being able to understand what was really driving the conflict changed how they spoke to each other. Slowly, conversations became possible without immediately escalating into arguments.
The Shift
As things improved, Matt worked with Thomas and Lorriane on simple, practical skills they could use when emotions ran high. These included:
- Recognising early signs of escalation
- Pausing before reacting using a Stop, Think, Act approach
- Talking about needs instead of blame
- Finding small compromises rather than arguing.
A big turning point came from fixing the small things that caused daily blow ups. Simple changes to routines helped avoid situations that usually ended in arguments.
Life was still stressful, but Thomas and Lorriane weren’t reacting to that stress in the same way anymore.
What Changed
Thomas and Lorriane began talking more openly, using language about needs rather than blame. Arguments didn’t disappear, but they became less intense and easier to repair. The overall “temperature” of the home changed.
Thomas started opening up about how he felt, about school, about missing his Dad and about what was worrying him.
Transition Back to Home
As the family’s time in the program was coming to an end, court proceedings were almost finished. There was uncertainty about what would happen next and Thomas felt anxious about the possibility of returning to the family home.
When the court process concluded, Lorainne, Thomas, and his little sister moved back into the family home.
The practitioner expected to be called back for booster sessions.
The call never came.
Life now
When Matt checked in after a few months, the change was astounding.
Thomas was thriving at school. The household was calm. Thomas’ relationships with all family members were repaired. The family had even gone on a holiday together, something that once felt impossible.
Thomas wasn’t angry anymore. He joked with his mum and sought comfort and closeness again.
This story isn’t about perfection.
It’s about what can happen when families are met where they are, supported through real risk with practical tools, and given the chance to experience each other differently.
“We meet families where they’re at and work with what’s already there. When people start experiencing each other differently, even small changes can become life changing.”
— Matt, FFT-Y Practitioner
*Names changed and stock images used to protect the identity & privacy of the families we work with
Functional Family Therapy
Youth
Functional Family Therapy – Youth works with young people and their family or kin, focusing on keeping young people out of the youth justice system to create a safer and more inclusive community.
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